Top 10 Reasons to be an Episcopalian, according to comedian Robin Williams
- No snake handling
- You can believe in dinosaurs.
- Male and female God created them; male and female we ordain them.
- You don’t have to check your brains at the door.
- Pew aerobics.
- Church year is color-coded.
- Free wine on Sunday.
- All of the pageantry–none of the guilt.
- You don’t have to know how to swim to get baptized.
- No matter what you believe, there’s bound to be at least one other Episcopalian who agrees with you.
A light-hearted look at what Episcopalians believe
- Episcopalians occasionally believe in miracles and sometimes even expect them, particularly during stewardship canvasses or when electing bishops or vicars, or recruiting church school teachers.
- Episcopalians believe in ecumenical dialogue because they are certain that after all is said and done everyone else is bound to become Episcopalian.
- Episcopalians strongly believe in Scripture, tradition and reason. While they aren’t sure what they believe about these three things, there is almost universal agreement that that is hardly the point.
- Episcopalians believe that everything in their life and faith is improved by the presence of good food and drink, not including lime-carrot jello, tropical punch Koolaid, or canned tuna fish in any form.
- Episcopalians believe that anything worth doing is especially worth doing if it has an obscure title attached to it (e.g., sexton, thurifer, suffragan, canon, dean).
- Likewise, Episcopalians believe that any place worth visiting is greatly enhanced by a name that only obliquely describes it (e.g., nave, narthex, sacristy, undercroft, church school supply room).
- Episcopalians firmly believe that coffee hour is the eighth sacrament, but only if the coffee is caffeinated.
- Episcopalians believe that anthems are most efficacious if sung in Latin or German, especially during Lent.
- Episcopalians generally believe that they are the only people God trusts enough to take the summers off from Church.
- Some Episcopalians believe Rite I is the best expression of the liturgy. Some believe Rite II is better. Most Episcopalians haven’t noticed the difference — they just hope the whole thing gets over before noon.